Warning signs that your ex was a narcissist

Psychologists have shared warning signs that your ex-partner may be a narcissist.

The signs are linked to their inability to commit, something people with the disorder are said to struggle with.

It’s probably because they see themselves as hot commodities and have a wealth of romantic options, leading them toward infidelity and a shorter relationship.

Studies have shown that narcissists carry out a one-sided dynamic in their relationships, seeking validation, admiration, and reassurance while offering nothing in return.

Without the excitement that comes with seeking a new partner, the narcissist feels incomplete and their overinflated ego can make them believe they are more desired than they actually are, experts have argued.

According to a study published by the University of Georgia, narcissists not only perceive that they have alternatives to their romantic relationships, but actually report caring for and flirting with those alternatives.’

The study’s researchers theorized that one possibility is that the narcissist always ‘goes for the better deal’ and looks for a more attractive partner who they consider to be better than their current one.

Another possibility is that because narcissists are constantly seeking a thrill, the chase involved in obtaining another partner seems to fit the bill.

It gives them a rush of excitement that often subsides when their new partner wants a closer and more personal connection.

It has also been suggested that the narcissist simply fears abandonment and wants to end the relationship before they become too emotionally involved, thus opening themselves up to being hurt.

A 2020 study by researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands found a definitive link between narcissism and relationship dissatisfaction, which often results in infidelity.

‘Narcissism is associated with poor relationship functioning, such as lack of relationship commitmentlow emotional intimacy and sexual aggressionincreased interest in sexual processes and high levels of infidelity involvement,” the study said.

‘Narcissistic romantic partners are less faithful, less emotionally intimate, less likely to associate sex with intimacy, and eager to have multiple sexual partners.’

Other researchers have also found that narcissists tend to devalue their partners and consider themselves superior rather than showing appreciation for their many qualities and characteristics.

In any quality relationship, there is give and take, with each person showing partner enhancement, meaning they view their significant other more positively than they view themselves.

Without this aspect of the relationship, narcissists view their partner negatively, causing discord and animosity that is often revealed through verbal or physical fights and conflicts.

They don’t have the ability to celebrate their partner’s achievements, creating an unfair relationship with one person investing more than the other.

Some narcissists may see their partner’s successes as rivalry and may perceive their daily interactions with them as more negative or accusatory, according to a study from Albright College in Pennsylvania.

“Narcissists tend to blame others for their problems and are particularly sensitive to signs of rejection,” wrote the study’s lead author Dr. Gwendolyn Seldman at Psychology Today.

These types of people feel the need to be constantly validated and require their partner to endlessly take care of their ego.

“Partner enhancement can prevent perceiving a partner’s intentions as malevolent or malevolent,” Anna Czarna and Magdalena Śmieja, who co-authored a 2022 study on narcissism and partner enhancement, told Forbes.

“Couples who demonstrate partner enhancement manage conflict more effectively, use less negative communication, and have higher relationship satisfaction,” they continued.

“Such couples are also more likely to make progress in commitment, moving from dating to engagement and marriage.”